The Emotional Roller-Coaster and the DUH moment!

Let me just say that regardless of the pro list being WAY longer than the cons, it was still a very stressful process.



Fred and I were constantly re-evaluating and questioning what we should do. It seemed overwhelming to do what we were hoping to accomplish.



Here's some of the pro's I remember:



Boston is the Mecca of Pediatric Care



Mass has way more Diversity



The job paid a lot more than Fred was making and his job in Maine did not have much of a financial future.



Bliss hair could easily be done many places



Mass school system has 70+ pages of policies on food allergies for when True enters the school system (as early as age three with early intervention)



Better Respite funding for respite workers (Maine has a policy of 16 hours per household a month vs per child...most kids in Maine get that much per week, per child)



Better Autism resources



Might be able to find a church likes ours in Memphis



Chance to start over with docs who were used to seeing kids like mine



Better state healthcare...very doubtful we would ever need to go outside of Boston for anything.



Being in a big city again would be cool! We missed the city!



Good school systems



Not sure those were the specific ones but they were some of them and a few more I have realized since we have been here.



We were going to have to move one way or the other and knew we would be moving to Mass eventually



Our cons were:

Moving itself

Kids changing schools again

Fred loved his kind of work in Portland

Katie



It was great that Katie did this for us because I was able to remind myself of these things when it got to be tough. I was also able to remind myself of the promises God had made to us in the past and the present.



Then I had that DUH moment. It was on Sunday the 5th. I was feeling overwhelmed and asking the Lord to give us some guidance and peace. That's when he really spoke to me. I kinda feel like sometimes I can imagine the Lord being like an exasperated parent and banging his head on the wall...going "Hello!"



I felt like God was saying that the mistake was not in going now, but not going in the first place. I felt him saying "Listen...I gave you a house with mold...a house with the whole heating issues...and this whole fiasco with the D.O....what else is it going to take to get you to Mass???"



Okay...so I know people, whether they are Christians or not, are always asking why God (or whoever they identify as being in control) allows things to happen if he loves us. I am sure people could look at the events of the past year in our life but I rarely ask God why?

Some of that comes from losing a child...as many bereaved parents would tell you. Even if God were to tell us why our child did not get to live a long life, no reason would be sufficient. So I think learning to submit to the ultimate grief of life, you learn other things you used to think were a big deal...like moving...is just not as huge a deal as you thought.

I'd like to say that this lack of questioning why, means that everything goes smoothly and you never worry. But God came through at the eleventh hour time and again. Which was pretty amazing and I'd like to tell you that I was able to rest in the Bible verse that says not to worry about tomorrow b/c if God takes care of the sparrow, he will take care of you, but I'm not always mindful of that in the thick of it. However, after God showed up about the house at the very last minute, well, I finally was able to say...okay, God, I'm submitting to your plan even though I'm scared.

So now...back to that house hunt...